Ch ch ch changes

I don't blog much anymore. I just never think about it I guess.. And really it's for myself that I do it at all. Just feel like writing today..

Court is supposed to be on Tuesday but we're hearing it might be the following Tuesday. Nothing like paying an attorney to not keep you up to speed. John is a wreck and feeling so upset over it all. Odd because he did nothing. And I feel he had to do this to prove his point to her that he will not tolerate her putting his children in harms way. I hope the judge sees the danger she's putting them in and acts on it. Until then, my stomach is in knots. I dread going into that courtroom. I fear my own emotions when I see her and that piece of shit she's with. He, covered with all his Neo Nazi tattoos.. What a winner, eh? He sickens me. They both do. And the lies they've told throughout this whole ordeal....Well they're insane and numerous. I do realize they probably feel they have to lie. I can't imagine very many people supporting them if they knew the truth. But that's okay. I know.. I know the truth and so do they. I realize this all seems cryptic to a some but I'm not willing to share details at this point. There are a few that know about this and those are the very few that will know for now. Now.. onto another subject..

What do you do when someone goes out of their way to ignore you in a group setting? It's to the point where it's so obvious and it's rude. This person is also ill and the darling on everyone's mind these days so to even address the issue and say, "hey? What the hell have I ever done to you for you to act like such a snobbish bitch?", would be group suicide. So....I refrain and just pull back from the group. Part of me secretly hopes she reads this. Pull your head out of your ass, Sweetie pie. You may be sick but you were a snob and a fake before that. I don't have to be your friend nor do I have to feel sorry for you. I feel sadness for you. Sadness because you're so ill and I know you're probably scared. I'm scared for you. But also sadness because you've for some reason come to a conclusion based on someone elses opinion that I wasn't worthy of speaking to or acknowledging. It's your loss. Just don't try to come off like such a great person who's so full of morals and values and then act like that. Damn that felt good to say.

In Memory Of Weezie

HER JOURNEY'S JUST BEGUNby Ellen Brenneman
Don't think of her as gone away -her journey's just begun,life holds so many facets -this earth is only one.
Just think of her as restingfrom the sorrows and the tearsin a place of warmth and comfortwhere there are no days and years.
Think how she must be wishingthat we could know todayhow nothing but our sadnesscan really pass away.
And think of her as livingIn the hearts of those she touchedFor nothing loved is ever lost -And she was loved so much.

Rest in peace my sweet little friend. You'll be forever missed.

Where Did My Kids Go?

Just a fly by posting here.. The kids got their hair done. Well Robert and Shari did. Shari's is not that big of a change but Robert's is shocking! LOL! I'm pretty liberal when it comes to hair though and figure it's a good way to let them express themselves so whatever right? So here they are...my little angels... hahahahaha

A Year In The Life

Wow.. It's been a long time hasn't it? I just didn't have any desire to post anything here I suppose. It's been a busy year here for my family. Some bad, sad, devastating, and good things have happened. Just normal life I suppose. The year didn't start out well. My grandmother lost her battle with cancer. That was sad. Accepted, but sad at any rate. Then we lost my 2 year old nephew. Brutally murdered. Life just doesn't seem fair sometimes. Lots of other bumps in the road as well.. Financial problems, a few health issues, our oldest son being hospitalized. It was just a weird time.. A weird year. There were good things that happened too. I cut a lot of unnecessary shit out of my life. I feel better for that. My family, despite having all these hurdles, we've stuck close together and we've made it through the other side. It didn't hurt that I had some fantastic friends to get me through and give me support as well. This year I was able to distinguish who were really friends and who were not. That knowledge is worth its weight in gold. Even though this has been a rough year I feel like a rich woman in many ways. Experiencing life and living to tell the tale. I wish you all a Happy Holiday Season and a Happy New Year. Peace. :)

And You Thought Your Life Sucked?

I know this lady here in my town.. She's pretty nice. Seems somewhat normal and well adjusted. To look at her and speak to her you'd think she had the ideal life. But once the layers start to peel back and reveal what's hidden you instantly realize she's putting on a big front to the world. In a nutshell, her family, both close and distant seem to always have some huge fight going on. They turn on each other like dogs. They find even the most petty shit to fight over. She's married to an alcoholic too. She's gone through a lot and after finding out a lot of this she'll no doubt have a lot more to go through. I feel bad for her but what can ya do? If she's like me she wouldn't take anyone elses advice anyway. Just makes you think about what some deal with in this life.. either by their own hand or the hand of others. It poses a question in my mind though. Why do people have to be so self destructive and try to drag down everyone else in their path? People have enough to deal with just getting up and dealing with everyday life. Why are there always people that have to make that harder and add to the shit? I hope that lady makes it through everything okay.

You know what I enjoy? I enjoy not getting any help in my house. Oh yes I do. I enjoy doing it all. Working, cooking, cleaning, shopping, paying the bills. I just absolutely adore it beyond words. You know what tickles me? Is asking for help and not getting it. Then when I finally blow a gasket and all tact is gone I'm accused of not having any to begin with and maybe if I asked nicer it would help. My gosh I enjoy the hell out of it. No, really.. I DO. I enjoy working and then getting off and having to bust ass to cook dinner because it's 9pm and nobody has eaten. Then the laundry that nobody wants to get started until 11pm at night. Oh hell yes.. I enjoy it. And want to know the kicker? I'm falling short. Yes I am. My house is not spotless. My meals are not planned days in advance. The laundry isn't caught up.. ever.. and they all look at me and my miserable failure. None of them see that it takes some group effort to keep a house kept up. Pick up after yourselves for the love of twinkies! That's all ya have to do! Manybe once in a while help out and cook a meal AND don't leave the kitchen upside down for the maid.(that would be me). Is that so freaking much to ask for? Oh but wait... I enjoy it.. I forgot. So while this will no doubt continue I'll be expected to grin and bear it while I work, pay those bills, grocery shop, buy toilet paper, do laundry, clean, and cook. No doubt my situation is no more unique than lots out there but I.AM.SICK.OF.IT!!! How do I come off without sounding like a complete bitch and get some help? Anybody?? Bueller??

Sticks And Stones

What is it with my kids and getting hurt lately? First Robert gets jumped and beat up and now Shari has been injured. Last Thursday night was insane here. We had bad weather upon us and it came to the point where I had to throw the kids into the storm shelter in the backyard. Well I hate that damn thing but you know it's a good thing to have if a tornado does hit. So at the time it's just me and the two kids. Robert was not at home at the time but that's another story.. Grrrr.. Anyway....the dog came running into the backyard toward the shelter and well she can't clear the steps because she's an ittle bitty and too short. So Sis says she's going to get her and stands up. She puts her left foot on the first stair and when she goes to put her right up there she catches the top of it on the under side of the stair case. The metal staircase.. yep.. Raw sheet metal. So she starts to howl. Well it's dark down there and my flashlight is dim. I'm thinking a deep scratch.. And those hurt like hell right? WRONG! All the sudden I start to hear this sickening thick liquid hit the cement. I flash my light toward her foot to see blood pouring up and over her slip on tennis shoe and hitting the floor. Oh holy shit I almost passed out. So.. Nick ran her into the house, bandaged her to slow the bleeding and brought her back out to the hole to safety until the storms passed. Thankfully it wasn't a long wait either. When it was over we got her out and off to the ER we go. This child has not only torn the top of her foot open but she's cut open a blood vessel. It was not pretty. She ended up having a section removed on the vessel, a mattress suture put in and that was closed up with 13 stitches. I feel terrible. I should have been the one to get the dog. Poor kid! But I have to say she's damn proud of those stitches. She's managed in one injury to out stitch both of her brothers on all of their injuries.. KIDS! LOL